TWO DAYS before Joan Rivers exited stage left on the operating table, i became a fan of hers. Then she freaking croaks unexpectedly and shocks the world because her life force energy was unremitting and though she referenced her own death constantly in her jokes for many years, she didn’t seem old at all. She looked gorgeous.
For subtle reasons related to female empowerment and female audacity, and female courage, and female outrageousness, i have to continue to decompress the meaning of her life and her death….
It’s rare to discover any stand up comedian on the internet, one i knew in childhood no less, and now so likable and so entertaining that i want to follow her. and then she dies in less than 48 hours. too weird not to take notice and investigate. for a long time, felt a dis-affinity to that insulting style of joke telling, the kind that is at the expense of someone else.
So why would i like Joan’s style now all of a sudden? well, it’s less about liking the insults and put downs and more about liking Joan’s heart. and her Spirit. and her constant sense of humour, and a lot has to do with her tenacity to keep going with her job….plus i relate to her struggles and disappointments and heartbreaks.
i also think the fact that she worked for and left her daughter $150 million dollars is highly unusual for a single mother.
Super Mom. and Grandma too.
like how many single women have done that do you know?
so what was her life teachings really about?
Comedians serve a sacred role. Court jester to the Court is a special position. Making people laugh is a sacred calling. Joan said this herself.
and the world was her Court,
mostly the USA.
so again why is the tragic loss of Joan Rivers of all people instantly made relevant to my mostly quiet, star- gazing life in lovely santa fe? why do i suddenly miss her so much?
sob story – why dont i know any more people who are really really funny?
i know kind, gifted, artistic, serious, responsible, hard working, intelligent, loving people. oh where or where are the comics in my life?
and i used to know funny people who made me laugh so hard my eyes would tear and my sides would ache, and i would have to do everything i could to gather my self control so i wouldn’t be the only person laughing their heads off like an idiot for more than the usual allotted amount of time we are allowed to laugh at one joke in public.
does this happen to you too ? sometimes people’s funny hits in a way that i will think about it for a long time, like days, weeks , months and start laughing again.
not as hard as the first time i heard it or saw it,
only still, im still laughing, at one joke.
my brother Jeffrey Forster can be ridiculously, rib stitching funny at times,
and come to think of it, my ex-husband was also totally funny and a natural comic.
in fact i would laugh so loud even at the restaurants bc for some reason while we were eating dinner his sense of humour would come out like a horse at the gate.
That dry English style of humour. subtle and hilarious. People would turn around to look at what was making me laugh so hard and see me cracking up, and him with a big grin.
My son Jeremy Forest Kogen also is a comedy writer.
i asked him when he was 8 years old what he wanted to be when he grew up. and he said earnestly, in his darling voice,
“i want to make people laugh.”
he actually said that.
and while Jem is a great tennis coach and chef, i wouldn’t be surprised if he follows his sacred calling and were to one day soon write a fantastic hit comedy film.
and Joan never ever misses a beat.
her rhythm is Flawless.
her timing is absolutely PERFECT.
all the time.
she was so gifted. how gifted?
gifted enough that we all know who she is.
Fast, fluid and furious, Joan annunciates so clearly
except when she gets going into one of her things.
its almost orgasmic, bc she gets so excited as she builds her storyline, adding this and that, and then gets closer to the end where we can climax into laughter.
while she too is relishing in the fun.
one time people didn’t laugh so much with her.
she looked at her watch and remanded them by saying, “im waiting……..that was a funny joke !!”
i remember going to hear a Rabbi speak about laughter and spirituality at The EnlightenNext community in Lenox, Mass where they sponsored all sorts of people from all spiritualities to come and make a presentation. This series of speakers which lasted for a few years, was only one of the many fantastic things that were produced by this artful group of people who were practicing and achieving increasing levels of group enlightenment.
Quoting from an ancient Jewish tome, this Rabbi who had us laughing throughout his entire presentation,
said that the ancient jews believed that laughter is the closest thing to the Light.
and that to laugh, to really, really laugh hard and full, open mouthed, deep in the belly, the heart opens too, with full and total abandonment. And this kind of laughter is the closest to G-d.
as im watching joan in her shows and interviews, i notice her eyes are not weird or jaded or cruel. under all that plastic, she is mostly enjoying the moment.
and with all her heart she intends for everyone to laugh.
and what a great job.
must take a lot of work plus talent to write great comedy.
and then, it takes more work just to remember it.
how was she remembering all that at age 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81? i mean she was still doing one hour stand up shows.
who is this woman and what did she eat for breakfast?
clearly she didn’t like to exercise saying g-d would have to throw diamonds on the floor to get her to move.
Joan’s Bemoans –
one – take it easy, lighten up and stop taking everything so serious
two – you can be so irreverent you can make jokes at everything and it doesn’t matter
i love the idea of living the rest of my days, laughing, and making others laugh too. i am very content to be weaving and astrologizing, and teaching and such and….
i love laughter too much to let it go…. so thank you Joan for reminding us and making us aware that laughter is really necessary for living a happy fulfilled life, and thank you Universe for returning that awesome and sacred deep laughter into my body, spirit and mind once and forever more.
i mean in spite of the state of the world and its uninspiring human leaders and all those secret crooked agents of control and all the rest.
I will make a pledge to become a stand up comic at least once before I’m 80 for 3 mins …. bc who knows if i can remember any more than 2 mins. of jokes?
I am especially going to stop judging comedians only bc they use insulting shock producing jokes.
One other thing im learning from Joan’s life,
not her death. her life.
how to handle people who are behaving miserably and usurping their position..
first, it’s best to avoid them
2nd, if we cant, then it’s time to take the Joan River’s approach and do a little STAND UP humour as a hidden weapon of defense….
ah the satisfying fun of that.
my inner Joan Rivers was channelled yesterday,
and it WORKED!!!!! and yes, it was so much fun.
“oh stop taking me so seriously, I’m just practicing my Stand Up!’, i said with a glint in my eye and a sense of pure glee,
‘ and you are just the best subject matter.’
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